Becky's BNL Space

I am not feeling well, and I believe it is a conspiracy.  In my travels between Boston and Chicago in the last few weeks on my marching orders from Satan (a.k.a- My company), I have been exposed to all sorts of seasonal disease bearing co-workers and collegues.  Which leads me to my main point... When did sick days become "mental health" days, and yet people flock to work when they are sniffling, sneezing, coughing, and otherwise trying to bring the second plague on unsuspecting, healthy cube dwellers? Now, mind you, I will be among the guilty tomorrow.  Why? Because I have work to do that won't do itself.  Because while my boss will say "Awww.... you don't feel well?  Go home, get some rest, go to the Dr..."  Sounds sympathetic, right? WRONG.  What the implied tone of that sentiment is "... I dare you!"  Because the same sweet, dulcet tones of concern will turn into a shrill scream when my oppressive daily duties are unaccounted for at the end of the month. If I don't put in my 10 hours a day, at least 5 (more like 6) days a week, I will be crucified.  Trust me. That's why no one stays the hell home when they are sick.  A) Why waste a day off better spent in July at the beach & B) Who has friggin' time to be sick on a workday?  I hate capitalism.  But I'm still going to work tomorrow...

Why MetLife made a HUGE mistake sending me the Associate Survey...

"How can we make more progress as a high-performing company?"

Eliminate the fear that MetLife cultivates in it's employees. Executives run roughshod over lower-level reports and make decisions about departments under their control without having all the facts. MetLife can encourage "open dialogue", but dissenting opinions (though EDUCATED and WITH BASIS) are strongly discouraged and will be "punished". We are steered by a very few individuals and this has created a circular plateau and not only impedes corporate and individual growth, but also discourages and demotivates employees. This is the broad scope feedback that I have gotten from peers across the enterprise and one I subscribe to myself. MetLife's most talented & high-performing employees leave due to the above circumstances, and those left have no morale. There is no benefit to "going above & beyond the call of duty," only MORE is expected. That is the high-level view of what this company is doing to it's most valuable resource!

On a personal level, in tandem with the above, I cannot easily take my PTO. My salary and level do NOT reflect my contributions or responsibilities. I have been transferred under more VP's than I can count on one hand. There is no motivation for me to do any more than I have already done, in fact, I want to do less due to the fact that unless I leave Met or my director dies or leaves Met, I will NEVER be promoted. There is no carrot. My soul is being slowly sucked dry by a company that neither appreciates nor acknowledges hard work, a good ethic, intelligence, loyalty, or talent. Case in point- What on Earth was our company thinking with the annual performance reviews? Round-tables? You have to slit the throat of everyone on your level in your group for the highest rating and bonus? Why can't our individual contributions and performance be evaluated? WHAT KIND OF EMPLOYEES ARE YOU BREEDING & REWARDING? I have NO interest in seeing my peers do well. They have to fail so I can get another 4 this year. Whomever came up with this gem of a process should be fired, along with every lemming that agreed to it. (More than likely out of fear, *see above)

In closing, while I feel better for having gotten that off my chest, I am well aware that nothing will change.

Well, I only have 30 hours to the season 3 premier of "Grey's Anatomy," and I'm beyond excited!!  Those who know me well know that I'm an addict of the highest order and neither intervention nor a stay in rehab would cure me. It's my thing.  I love it. And when I watch that show I am just riveted.

Now here's where the Deep Thoughts come into play… and this can seguay into anyone reading this blog… why am I so hooked?  It's only a TV show, right?  Don't we all have that same affinity for certain songs that we overplay to the point of nausea? But why?  Obviously, I bring it up because I've given it some thought.  And this isn't meant to be a blanket statement, because all situations and people can have their own thing or rationale.  This is what I've discerned for me…

I love that show for a multitude of reasons.  The writers are geniouses.  They have to be. Their wit is just beyond compare and a lot of times the biting sarcasm (which is a hallmark of mine) just makes me jealous that I'm not that quick or witty 100% of the time.  The characters are fully developed and intriguing, all 10 of the main characters, not just one or two, and the one-episoders aren't bad either.  Of course, Patrick Dempsey's yummy beyond belief and bears a vague resemblance to my gyno. I've seen him in scrubs

 

J But I digress…

 

The main reason I love GA is because it makes me feel.  Sometimes happy, angry frustrated, and sometimes at the end of an episode I'm just plain weeping. (I don't cry, by the way, or at least not often, for those of you not in the "Becky-know".) 

So why would I feel ? Well, why do you feel? Why does a particular song on the radio just resonate with you strongly enough to make you cry?  Could it be that it contains situational details that ring true in your life?

Because I think that's the key. The realities of life amp up the emotion to the max when you see them portrayed in all their dramatic glory on the T.V. screen or when someone else holds your attention long enough to let you view them.  If you are in the fray, as it were, you have no time or inclination for the most part to withdraw yourself far enough to see the full picture, so when what you witness closely mirrors your own existence- You stop. You identify. You emote.

 

Now, if you watch "Two and ½ Men"… I don't know what the hell you're thinking.

Enjoy :)

 

I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.

~Robert Louis Stevenson

A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.

~Lao Tzu

Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.

~Seneca

It is not down in any map; true places never are.

~Herman Melville

What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do - especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.

~William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land.

~G.K. Chesterton

Half the fun of the travel is the esthetic of lostness.

~Ray Bradbury

There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.

~Orson Welles

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

~Mark Twain

I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.

~Caskie Stinnett